Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
