at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
