i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
