she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
