How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
