You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
