i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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