Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize