We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
