i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
