But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
