O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
