If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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