I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just blew my weed a kiss
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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