there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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