Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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