So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
