Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
