So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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