I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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