This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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