you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
