we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
where am i from again
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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