Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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