woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Houston, we have a squirter
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
