Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I will be naked everywhere
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dick very happy bro
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
