My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
handjob tips. give me some.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
