My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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