we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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