i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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