i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
