well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
my liver is dry heaving
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
