How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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