So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
