Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
