Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
