tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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