Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
