And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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