Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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