Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
