I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
