i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
