You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
