I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
