the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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