I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
