She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
