Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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