Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
