dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
