Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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