All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
