pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Come see our sink grown plant.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
