My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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