Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize