I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
