Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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