Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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