whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
